She didn't care she did not take the time to make herself up today, not that she needed to anyway. One day out of the hundreds she didn’t give a dam.... She had asked a few friends for a ride home but they were busy. She had wished Kate had gotten off class earlier so she could get a ride home with her. The afternoon came and the walk home was longer. A lot longer. "If he doesn't see me or hear me I'll be alright." She thought to herself. She took the long way around another street, the only. She debated with herself all day. Finally, she had a horrible thought. Was the reason that she couldn’t decide to meet her Daddy was because he was Black?! She was horrified to think that maybe she was a racist like her Tricia’s father. But she had let a white guy rape her and didn’t tell. Would she have told the police if a Black guy raped her? Was she reluctant to meet her Daddy because she was white and had a racist fear of Black men. Then she thought about what she had been taught in school. Jessica locked the door and turned out the front lights. She poured herself a jack & coke and sat down on the bar stool next to me. We talked and drank together for an hour. She told me what an asshole her boyfriend was and I told her how perfect she was. After 6 or 7 drinks she was feeling pretty tipsy. She confessed to me that she thought I was very handsome and a great guy. She appreciated how I was always nice to her without being sleazy and how I was a great tipper. I was feeling. An unspoken offer from Jill that she was okay for them to stare lustfully at her sexy married body. One of the hottest yet most painful moments for me was when Malcolm the man-mountain left his post on the door to do a circuit inside the club and ended up stood next to Jill at the bar. Again I was in torment as I could only watch, trying to guess at their conversation from the gestures and sights I saw. The smiles that passed between them and little flirty signals giving way as Jill looked at.
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