There were few immediate turn offs for me; bad teeth were the biggest. One point for Matthew in that column.We crossed over to the elevators and rode ...p without much conversation. There were just too many people around for us to get into anything. Luckily, we were the only two to get off on our floor. The charity, The Forefront Foundation, was just one door down. Their logo was four silhouettes of professional woman on a blue background. The door was closed and Matthew hesitated a moment before. Last night ,she had told me that I was the nucleus of her life .In between the dinner ,she held my hand & said “Baby I’m so glad that im getting to spend time with you. I’ve missed you so much. Thank you for this lovely dinner & I promise you ,post the exams ,I’ll be all yours “.I kissed her hand & said ,”Good girl” .She was drinking her wine when I told her this and though she didn’t say anything ,she did raise her eyebrows visibly enough to acknowledge that this was the first time I had said. At dusk the evening before, I committed a small envelope of my dead wife's ashes to the river. I stood on the rich loam beside the river and watched the film the ashes created on the river start to move on their journey to the Mississippi, the Gulf of Mexico, and the oceans of the world. I had to remind myself that the ashes were only that – ashes; they were not Karen, only part of a symbolic rite I'd created for myself.I'd been in thirty-two states so far in my journey. In most, I'd met at. After a few minutes of them staring and talking back and forth the man who noticed, me first walked over and sat down in the empty chair. He complemented me on my looks and told me he had lost his number. He then asked if he could have mine. I laughed at his cheesy line but bent down to get my pen. As I did, his eyes followed my cleavage. I wrote my number down on a napkin and wrote under it “I’m married but my husband doesn’t mind.” He looked at me and smiled after reading it and got up to go.
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