I see change, I see death and I see a rebirth. Gone is the man I was. Gone forever. As simple as that. I can see him, but he's a fading ghost.. Is thi... who I am? Am I really gay? Could I really be this cum stained faggot? Why does just thinking the word 'faggot' make me a little horny? You know why? I know why, its because I AM a faggot and I feel great!Leaning into the mirror I see a little blemish at the corner of my mouth. My first beard rash! From kissing a man! How exciting! I feel giddy. . Last week." She twists her arm and I let her go, "As if I'd even talk to you if you hit me." She fake laughs again and hurries into the building.I broke her arm. A week later, her pretty face is still black-n-blue. I'm not an asshole; I'm not good enough to be an asshole.As soon as most everybody's inside, I smoke another cigarette less because I want one and more because it gives me something to do with my hands other than punch a wall. Maybe all those bruises were me. Maybe it's always been. ’ Even Adele, Wendy and Kyle were laughing now. Zack looked at Katriona again, ‘You’re not Josh?’ Little Katriona giggled again, ‘I’m Katriona! THAT’s Josh!’ Zack looked up at the other adults and winked, ‘HIM? He’s George! If YOU’RE Caleb, and YOU’RE Katriona, WHO IS JOSH!?’ Josh put his hands on Zack’s shoulders and looked him in the eye, ‘I. Am. Josh!’ ‘Well why didn’t you say so?’ Zack laughed. Wendy nudged Adele, ‘Is he always like this?’ ‘Yeah pretty much. He just seems to be able to. "You don't exist anymore Miss Bodwell, except as a fugitive. No one will come looking for you. You'd do well to listen to Vopat and Tam from now on and do everything they tell you to do. Everything. Or I suspect things will be rough for little Sarah, understand? I want you to say you understand."Her china blues simply stared dumbly, tears trickling down, and her mascara running a bit. Finally she nodded and I nodded to Tam to pull down the gag."Well?"Slowly, her luscious lips moved. "Uh, I, uh,.
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