I was too nervous to sit back down, so I looked around the office and moved to my desk. There was nothing there. It was clear that Shirl was a very ...rganized boss and would expect the same of me. I hoped I could deliver upon her expecatations. Even if this was just a temp job.I couldn’t help but noticed the flushed look on Shirl’s face when she came back with a list of tasks for mne to get started on and I spent the next several hours with my head down, proof-reading forms and making. Who had I become, kneeling before a guy because he was popular, and because my sister idolized him? Who had I become to have sucked his friends, simply because he asked me to? Who had I become to have let my boyfriend arrange for me to have sex with other guys? And what had I become, to have gone to the hotel with him, and having agreed to be with a coach at my school? Worst of all, of everything I had done, what had I become to hurt the one person who was there for me through all of it,. "I wasn't really listening."Patty sighed. "I was very angry at you turning Kristen into a fucking addict. I thought that the very thing that I fell in love with had gone from you. I was very disappointed in you."My heart sank at those words."But, Jim... you made it better!" Patty said. "You fixed it, maybe not completely, but you got rid of the worst of it. And then you held her. Kristen doesn't have a friend in the world, and you, her tormentor, just held her. And you showed me that you WERE. "Thank God you're here", she whispered like a typical drunk,"You are the only man I can trust."Dressed as she was I wasn't too damn sure about that. But it got worse, much worse. Jane slid into my lap, cuddled her head against my chest and propped her small, pretty feet on the opposite arm rest.Despite my best intentions to the contrary, I looked. She was intelligent and articulate beyond her years, but physically she apparently was going to be a late bloomer. There was not one hair on her legs.
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Part, ormaybe most, of the reason I was there to feel that I was somehowinvolved in their lives. I positioned myself so that I couldeavesdrop on conve
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