She kept a stack of them by the bed. Isuppose for her it was like reading science fiction or the NationalGeographic, depictions of other people's str...nge folkways, novel andinteresting, maybe even educational. But it never touched herbehavior, or her attitudes. In her real world there was very littlephysical desire.Even when we were making love I always had the impression she wouldrather be doing other things altogether, like planning menus orvacations, or keeping the family finances at her. Those.”I rolled my eyes for a second and said: “Once upon a time, not long ago, didn’t you idolize a rapper because of his mentality? Didn’t you idolize the fact that he came from almost nothing, just like us? You still idolize him, do you?” I said, sincerely. She nodded.After a slight hesitation, she asked: “What’s your cousin’s story?”“Well, this will be a long story,” I started. “My cousin Jay and I were close. We still kind of are. We’re close-knit. All of my cousins that I am close to I. I insisted her I’ll drop you so she was agree .I was dropping her home she asked if I would like to drink something .I told her it’s too late I don’t wanna bother you but she insisted me lets have tea I said ok as you say boss. Basically inside my heart I wanted to spend time with her too. She had a very beautiful home and very clean. She starts making tea in the kitchen .I went in the kitchen and start rubbing her shoulders .She said to me omg I needed this I was keep giving her shoulder. "Not everyone." Tammie touched my hand."Only the ones I fall for," I said, with a sad sigh. The weight of toomany rejections came back onto my shoulders. They trembled under theburden again until I couldn't stop stupid, blind, lonely tears runningdown my cheeks and soaking into Tammie's pullover when she pulled me infor a cuddle."You'll find someone," she promised."They all reject me in the end," I sobbed, unthinking - Casey's screamdistorted mouth filling my heart.I knew then I'd have to tell.
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